Congratulations, America! The Dow Jones Industrial Average has just rolled past 20,000 for the first time ever! Let the fireworks fly, because the ticker tape parade is about to begin!

The Trump administration, wasting no time in chalking this up to “the Trump effect,” celebrated.

Asian markets, which lifted as much as 1.8% on the news, celebrated.

European markets, which edged up across the board on the news, celebrated.

Global markets in general, which hit a 19-month high on the news, celebrated.

And why not? Such a momentous event must indicate that the global economic recovery is right on track, right? Surely we can now rest easy in the knowledge that the coming years will bring prosperity and security for all, right?

Except…

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